yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
