I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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