I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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