You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
