I puked a lego.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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