it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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