the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
