there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
