Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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