I'm really into asian looking animals
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
