Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
