We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
