She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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