so that wasnt chicken after all
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
