Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
