He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
