Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
