this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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