Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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