Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize