Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
