i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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