we made out on top of his cat.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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