Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
