she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
