It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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