): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Randomize