I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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