I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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