Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize