DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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