I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
