biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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