I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize