How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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