hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize