she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
