Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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