Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

wakey wakey hands off snakey

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car

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(775): View more from Nevada

So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.

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(804): View more from Virginia

he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food

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(314): View more from Missouri

rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing

(609): View more from New Jersey

I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow

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