i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
