Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
