Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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