I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
