I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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