ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
