sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
