i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
