She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
