Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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