did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
