If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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