so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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