Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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