If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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