no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
