On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
