But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
