Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i wish my penis had a tongue
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
