some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my shit smells like andre
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Also, beer. Big fan.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
