by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize