Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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