1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We don't watch enough power rangers
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
