ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
