so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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