i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize