yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
