Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
